


Bro Court

by Freaky123



Category: cirque du freak
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi, trial
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-13 17:53:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29779911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Freaky123/pseuds/Freaky123
Summary: In Vampire Mountain, Bro Court is taken seriously. So seriously, in fact, that Seba has his own gavel.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3





	Bro Court

“This court is now meeting,” Seba said. It was one of the only times he could break out the powdered wig and gavel from the 1700’s that he had sitting in his closet. At the time Paris said they were useless relics of the past, and Seba nearly threw them away. He’s glad he kept them, though- he kept them for moments like this. 

“The court is now in session,” Paris corrected. Seba shot him a glare. 

“Are you the judge?” He asked quietly, so that no one beyond the bench could hear. Paris shook his head. 

“I’m the judge of the judge, lest you forget.” Seba scowled, but he smiled once Paris squeezed his hand. 

Clearing his throat, he began once more. 

“This court is now in session. The plaintiff- Mr. Vancha March. Occupation- Vampire prince, represented by the vampaneze Guardian of the Flames Gannen Harst.” Arrow booed from the bleachers, and then cursed loudly. Mika had stepped on his foot. 

Paris shot the two a glare, and in response the blood brothers smiled tightly. Paris conveniently ignored Arrow elbowing Mika in the ribs, and Mika’s soft curses. He smiled inwardly. 

“Vancha March is suing for the custody of...” Seba adjusted his glasses, “Harvey?” 

“Harkat, your honor,” Gannen Harst corrected. 

“Harkat,” Seba corrected smoothly, “and the reason being-“ 

“-Desmond is a piece of shit!” Vancha interjected. Gannen whirled around and slapped his brother. 

“No!” 

“Yes!” Vancha protested. He rubbed his left cheek. “Ow,” he said slightly. 

Harkat sat helplessly in the witness box, for no one but Gannen understood the workings of a courtroom (personal experience. He said he had a birthmark that covered nearly his whole body, and he used concealer to further his point). He won, by the way. 

“Order in this court!” Seba shouted as he banged the gavel against the wooden stand. “I will have order in this court!” 

Paris chuckled. Seba was having too much fun with this. 

“The defendant- Evanna Tiny-“ 

“-Just plain Evanna, please,” she said. She twirled her mustache with her left hand. 

“Evanna- is represented by her father, Desmond Tiny-“ 

Poor Seba could barely get that sentence out before Gannen’s first objection. 

“I object your honor,” Gannen shouted, “this is a clear case of nepotism!” 

“Take your clear case of nepotism and shove it up your ass!” Arrow shouted, which was followed by another flood of curses. Arrow might have a broken foot by the end of the trial. 

Seba stared at Gannen. 

“What in the hell is nepotism?” He asked. 

“Get over it, Harst,” Desmond said smoothly, “do as Arrow instructed.” 

Gannen’s face turned a deep shade of mauve before letting Seba continue his spiel. 

“Let this trial begin.” 

“I am going first,” Desmond said immediately, “that is how guests work.” Gannen nodded. Vancha twiddled his thumbs and leaned back in his chair. 

“How the hell aren’t you worried?” Gannen hissed. Vancha smiled. 

“Because, brother,” he said, “I wore my good luck pants.” 

“Your only pair of pants,” Gannen corrected him, “and they’re grey joggers.” Vancha chuckled. 

“Of course they are. Did you expect anything different?” Gannen smiled thinly and shook his head. The plaintiff was about to start his case. 

“Gentleman of the jury,” he began, and upon seeing Arra’s indignant scowl, included, “and lady. You are all called here to pass judgement upon whether or not my client Evanna is a suitable parent.” Pursing his lips, he thought of his next words. 

“I am not here to provide an example of why my daughter is an excellent mother,” he said slyly, “rather, I will be providing examples of why Vancha is not a suitable father.” 

Shocks erupted throughout the Hall of Princes. 

“Objection!” Gannen practically screamed. Vancha was laughing his ass off next to his brother, while in the stands Arrow was doing all he could to keep Mika from jumping down and strangling Desmond. 

“The first argument,” Desmond said calmly, as if nothing happened, “is that he does not wear pants. Any suitable-“ he exaggerated that word, “parent would wear pants.” Vancha looked at him slyly. 

“Is your client wearing pants right now?” Gannen asked. Desmond scowled as Vancha stood up and proudly showed off his lucky grey joggers. 

“She’s wearing ropes,” Vancha pointed out, “and I don’t think that’s conducive to a child’s-“ Harkat coughed angrily, “-uh, little person’s development.” Evanna smiled thinly. 

“Fair enough,” she said, “it was a thin leg to stand on.” Gannen smirked. 

“But,” Desmond said, “Vancha does not have food for said little person. Evanna does; in fact, she has a wide selection of food for said little person.” Murmurs amongst the jury. Arra leaned over to Gavner and whispered something in his ear. 

“That’s not true!” Vancha said angrily. “I have food!” 

“He would be much safer with my food,” Evanna said smoothly. 

“Your illusion food?” He asked. The smile she previously wore had been replaced with a scowl. 

“Tread lightly,” she growled. 

“Do you cook your food, Mr. March?” Desmond asked him. Vancha frowned and shook his head. 

“Why would I?” He asked. “I eat raw food, and everyone knows this. Besides- it’s not like he has taste buds anyway.” 

“Your honor, I would like to sue for emergency custody,” Desmond said. Seba frowned. 

“Are you not the lawyer representing your client, who is suing for custody?” Harkat fidgeted. It was obvious he didn’t want to go with Desmond. 

“Fuck you dad!” Darren screamed. He was holding a handmade poster that had FREE MA BOI HARKAT written on it. Larten had tried to tell him that Harkat had done nothing wrong, but Darren wouldn’t hear it. 

“Darren-“ Desmond shouted as he whirled back to face his son. “Larten, control this bastard child?” Larten drew in a shaky breath and dragged Darren to his seat. “Thank you.” 

Continuing with his list of charges, Desmond said: “He also thinks that everyone should prove themselves beyond their physics capability.” Vancha sniffed. 

“And you don’t?” He asked. Desmond clapped his hands loudly and turned to the jury. 

“There!” He shouted. “A full confession!” 

“Double jeopardy!” Gannen shouted. Seba nodded. 

“That does not count,” Seba said. “As Mr. Harst declared, it is illegal.” 

“Very well then. Furthermore,” Desmond said, “I don’t like him.” 

“You do not like him?” Seba asked. 

“I do not like him,” Desmond confirmed. Evanna frowned. 

“Seems valid,” Vancha said. 

“You’re not helping!” Gannen hissed. Vancha shrugged before picking up a paper airplane. He tossed it into the general direction of the stands, where it hit Larten squarely in the eyeball. 

“Be professional!” Gannen hissed once more. Vancha looked right at him and took off the t shirt he wore with his joggers. 

“Your honor,” Desmond said, “it would seem that the plaintiff has exposed his bare chest to the little person. Will you not do something about this?” 

Paris frowned. Why was it so bad? Vancha was usually shirtless, yes, but to be fair he had to use his abs to attract people since his face didn’t look too good. He was an ugly baby, but neither him nor Seba were willing to admit it. 

“Can I speak?” Harkat asked. Seba shushed him in favor of Vancha defending himself. 

“Rise, Vancha March,” Seba said. Gannen nerdy had an aneurysm. 

“This isn’t how it’s supposed to work,” he muttered. Seba heard him and motioned for Vancha to sit back down. Vancha frowned, but complied anyway. 

“Rise, Gannen Harst,” Seba said. Vancha kicked his brother under the table. Gannen kicked him back even harder. 

Gannen smoothed out his suit and smiled thinly at the crowd gathered in front of him. 

“Lady and gentleman of the jury,” he said, ensuring to include Arra for brownie points, “I stand before you today with a case not only entrenched in crime, but in morals as well.” They all shifted in their seats uncomfortably. 

“This little person,” Vancha pointed to him, “Harkat, needs a guardian. And I would be the best one. I am already the guardian of a Darius Shan, whom you all know.” 

“Atta boy!” Steve yelled. Security rushed over to him with a pair of handcuffs. 

“How did you even get in here?” Gannen wondered aloud. 

“Nice to see you too,” Steve managed as he was carted away. 

“Desmond and Evanna are ruthless people,” Vancha continued, “and if anyone here has good enough conscience to vote for them to have custody- I will disavow you out of my will.” 

“Disown,” Ganenn corrected, “and you don’t have a will.” Vancha turned around to face his brother. 

“Bro we’re on the same team!” Vancha said. “Stop it.” 

“As your legal counsel I advise you-“ 

“-shove your counsel up your ass!” Arrow shouted for the third and final time. Gannen breathed through his nose shortly. 

“What the fuck is wrong with you all?” He addressed the crowd and jury. “Fake trial- a rigged one at that- competing for custody of a fully grown adult.” He shook his head. “You should all be ashamed of yourselves. 

The jury shifted guiltily in their seats, avoiding eye contact, but Arra stared directly at Gannen. 

“The jury will now deliberate,” Seba interrupted, “so shoo.” The jury obediently shuffled into the Hall of Khledon Lurt to avoid being overheard. 

“D’you think we won?” Vancha asked his brother hopefully. Gannen shook his head. 

“Not in a million years, brother.” Vancha sighed sadly and stared at Harkat, who had quietly snuck from the witness box up to the bleachers next to Darren and Larten. 

“What are you doing up there?” Vancha hollered. “Come down here this instant!” Evanna chuckled. 

“I don’t follow the rules,” Harkat hollered, “I thought you knew this by now.” Vancha shook his head. 

“Whatever,” he muttered. Darren was still holding his FREE MA BOI HARKAT sign. Gannen hated it for some reason- he said it wasn’t spelled correctly, but Darren told him to shove it. It was supposed to be like that- to make a statement, Darren said. Vancha smiled thinly. Gannen wouldn’t have any brain cells left after this. 

“Have fun in hell boys,” Desmond said with a grin. “It’s where I keep the losers who go against me.” 

“No it isn’t!” Steve yelled. He was sitting in Darren’s throne. 

“Security!” Gannen hollered. 

“How does he keep getting in here?” Paris muttered. “I thought we sealed off all the entrances.” 

“The jury is back,” Seba announced over the clamor. “Silence!” He screamed as he banged the gavel against the podium. “I will have order in my court!” He turned to Gannen and asked, “did I do it right?” 

Gannen didn’t have the heart to tel him no, so he nodded his head and watched Seba grin. 

“Good.” He cleared his throat- the only noise in the hall besides slight shuffling coming from the jury- and placed the gavel down gently. 

“Has the jury made their decision?” He asked. Arra nodded. She held a piece of paper in her hands. 

She would be reading the witness statement because she was the only one who could read out of the group. 

“We the jury find Vancha March,” she said with suspense, “capable of raising a child.” 

“What kind of bullshit ruling is that?” Desmond asked incredulously. “Have you seen the man?” 

“Not how I would’ve worded it,” Arrow muttered. Mika nodded and raised an eyebrow. 

“Wanna get some ale after this?” He asked. Arrow nodded. 

“After I get my foot reset.” Mika grimaced. 

“Sorry about that.” 

“Suck it, Tiny!” Vancha exclaimed. “And you too-“ Evanna glared at him. “Or maybe not,” he said carefully, “you’re a wonderful person.” 

Seba banged his gavel on the podium once more. 

“Harkat would like to read a statement,” he said, “everyone must be quiet.” Harkat took a deep breath before starting. 

“You all know how much I love this game-“ 

“Not a game Harkat!” Gannen hissed. Vancha slapped his brother. 

“Ow!” He shouted.

“Payback,” Vancha grinned. Seba glared at the two. 

“I must say, I’m delighted to have been in this trial,” he said, “Darren has a sign made for me.” 

“It’s true!” Darren shouted. “I do have a sign!” 

“And I was represented by an actual lawyer,” he said. Vancha frowned. 

“How the hell did you pass the bar exam?” Vancha asked. Gannen frowned. 

“How the hell do you even know what a bar exam is?” 

“I thank you all,” Harkat said, “and I’ll be going to bed now. Goodnight everyone.” 

“Goodnight Harkat,” everyone said. The eyes watched the little person waddle out of the Hall and to his chambers. 

“Same time next week?” Paris asked. Everyone gave varying degrees of the word yes, and with that they went to bed.


End file.
